Special Needs?!?!

A lot of the children that are in foster care are termed special needs.  Many of them do have some type of emotional issues but there not all as horrific as you would imagine.  When I heard the words “special needs” I was scared of what I might end up having to deal with.  In this post, I would like to tell you the reality of the special needs children I adopted.

My 3 year old is a ball of energy.  He’s bright, funny, and very outgoing!  He was placed into my home right out of the hospital at the age of 1 week.  He was termed special needs only because he was in care 2 years before his adoption proceedings began.  That’s it!  He was in my home his entire life, he has no emotional or behavioral issues and he was not traumatized because of a horrific event that might have happened in his life.  He is a normal, happy 3 year old.

My 5 year old was 1 when he came into care.  He was placed at another foster home before ours.  That family had a hard time dealing with him and asked that he be moved.  He has been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder as well as ADHD.  He was diagnosed at age 3, which is surprising to everyone.  He’s had severe behavior and emotional issues since he was placed into my home.  He has been through several daycares and schools because the schools were not equipped to deal with a child that had special needs like my sons.  Because of multiple reasons, our 5 year old was not released for adoption until he was 5.  He was in care much longer than most children normally are.  This had a great effect on our family as a whole.  Because we had to operate within the DFCS (Department of Family and Children Services) system that meant a lot of red tape and hoops to jump through.  It meant well-meaning caseworkers were pushing for him to be medicated before we were ready because the doctor offered it as a viable option.   When dealing with the foster care system you find that everyone has a different opinion and everyone thinks they are right but in the end, you’re the one that has to deal with the child!  J   When we decided to adopt our son we knew what all of his issues were and decided to move forward.  He is a joy and I wouldn’t have done anything different! He is one of the smartest children in his class and he has a wonderful sense of adventure.  We have no issues in the home environment but are still working out the kinks of school but the solutions we have put in place to help our son have greatly increased the possibility of a normal, productive, life. A life he might not have been able to have if someone didn’t take on the challenge of adopting a special needs child.

If you’re thinking of adoption I urge you to take a look at these children whom they title “special needs”.  Many of them have just been in the system for long periods of time or have emotional or behavioral problems that are not unsolvable. By giving these children a loving, stable environment you give them a chance at a  wonderful, normal life!

What do you think about special needs adoption?  Do you have any adoption stories?  Please share them by leaving me a comment!

10 Adoption Facts

I found these adoption facts on Superpages.com and I thought I'd share them.....

 

1. In the U.S. the average age for prospective adoptive parents is the late 30s to middle 40s.


2. The largest adoptive parent group is couples who have been married for three years or longer. Even though this is still the norm, interracial, single-parent, and gay-parent adoptions are gaining in popularity.


3. Adoption laws in the U.S. are enacted and monitored by the states. This means that the laws can vary quite a bit from one state to another. Laws can change too. If you're planning on adopting, it pays to do your homework and stay current on changing trends.


4. There are typically two broad categories of adoption, open and closed. A closed adoption is one in which the identities of the parties involved are withheld. In an open (or semi-open) adoption, certain information is shared. What and how much can vary from state to state and agency to agency. There are advantages and disadvantages to either method. The trick is to find an agency and process that works for you.


5. State adoption agencies are usually of two types, public and private. Public agencies are run by the states themselves, where private agencies are only licensed by the states. Public agencies typically have lower costs involved in adoption where private agencies can sometimes charge a great deal.


6. Adopted children can and often do grow up well-adjusted and happy. A 1994 study conducted by the Search Institute in Minneapolis evaluated 881 adopted adolescents and their adoptive parents over four years. The teens scored higher than their non-adopted counterparts in caring and social competency.


7. Although there may be lots of reasons to adopt a child, the overwhelming motivator in 95 percent of cases is infertility.


8. The average adoption takes -- well, there is no average adoption time frame. Times can vary anywhere from a few months to five years or more depending on the circumstances.


9. As of the 2000 census, about 1.6 million children in the U.S. under the age of 18 were adopted. Of those, around 98,000 were one year old or less (this includes foreign adoptions).


10. Using those same 2000 census figures, there were almost a half-million adopted adults living in the U.S. (473,000).

I thought a lot of these facts were interesting.   I love fact number 6!   I pray my children group happy and well=adjusted!   I think the biggest fear of every adopted parent is if your child will identify with you when it's grown and still consider me his or her parent.  I think in most cases the answer is YES!!!  Fear not and trust in GOD!!  Everything happens for a reason.   :)

Steps To Becoming A Foster / Adoptive Parent

Dealing with the Department of Family and Children Services certainly is not any fun.   You have to jump through a lot of hoops and there is always red tape but in the end you are helping a child and bringing laughter and love into your home!   The first step in our process of adopting or becoming a foster parent was to go to an informational session.  There you’re given basic information.  If you decide to move forward there is a class you need to take to prepare you to parent children who come out of broken homes and bad and sometimes abusive situations.  It’s very informative.   After that comes the part that I believe scares most people… the home study. 

A home study just confirms that you are able to care for a child. 

Financial: You don’t have to be a wealthy or even well off.  You just have to have a steady income and employment history, be able to provide for yourself and have a bit of money to spare each month. 

Physical House:  You can expect a home safety evaluations checking for bed space, appropriate living quarters, and that the home is clean, childproof, and safe.  We also had to have the health department OK our home.  They make sure the water temperature isn’t too high, that you have fire extinguishers, and smoke detectors. 

Personal: Before you get too far into the process most likely you will have to complete a criminal background check as well as a drug test.  Then you will have to schedule a medical exam and get a physician’s letter that states you can physically care for the children.  Most likely you will be given a set of forms for your doctor to fill out.  

There are interview’s that include questions about your childhood, parents, parenting views, other children you might have, outside support systems, and your general background.   If you have children in the home it is important to note that they may be interviewed as well.  Your other children are asked how they feel about the idea of a new member or members of the family. 

 **** Note all adults living in the home must be obtain a background check and drug test.

After these steps were finished we started welcoming children into our home right away.   We were looking for children that could be adopted but children still rotated in and out.  More about this in another blog. 

These are the steps it took for us to become foster / adoptive parents.  It might be a little different in your state. These are some of the basics and will give you a general idea of what you can expect.

This process might seem very long but it’s so worth it in the end.  These are my boys!  The little guy came into our home right out of the hospital and my older son was 18 months old when he was placed with us.  We have adopted both boys  and they are now ages 3 and 5J

****Photo by Dan Metts Photography  www.danmetts.com 

Please ask any questions you might have in the comments.  I’d love to answer them!

Children Available For Adoption!!!

Did you know that there are thousands of children available for adoption?  According to www.adoptuskids.org there are more than 100,000 children available for adoption right now!  There are individual children available as well as groups of siblings. The process of becoming an adoptive parent to give these children a loving home is not as difficult as you might think! 

Please visit www.adoptuskids.org today and look through the photos of available children today.

Introduction

Hello all!   My name is Jennifer and I am the proud mother of two adopted children!  I was unable to have children of my own and after looking through all of the options my husband and I decided to become foster parents.  After several years and many children we ended up adopting our boys who are now ages 3 and 5.

This blog is meant to be a place to discuss adoption and foster care issues and processes, ask questions, find information and discover what life is like post adoption.  I welcome all comments and questions!

November is National Adoption Month!!!  It seemed like a fitting time to kick this project off!!!